The Pear Primer, or Things You May Like To Know In Order To Understand This Mess

Herein I will tell you a little about myself; mainly things that might help put some of my blog posts into some kind of perspective.

• I am disabled. However, I don't have "visible" disabilities, i.e. I'm not in a wheelchair, I don't have a limb missing, etc. What I do have is a collection of what are called unseen disabilities: vision problems, bipolar disorder, agoraphobia, dyspraxia, possible Asperger's Syndrome and mobility/joint/walking problems. I also have psychosis - and this is where I will have lost about 99% of any potential readers, I realise - but the important thing is I'm NOT dangerous to others! (I generally like people and don't want harm to come to anyone, even if they've been a total twat to me.) After years of putting up with an entire Disability Discrimination Act's-worth of crap from the general public, I am now taking a bit more of a stand and am liable to wax lyrical about rights, wrongs and the people who have pissed me off on a daily basis. Call it letting off steam, call it being a bitch - it's going up there. 
• I am comedy-obsessed. My preoccupation with laughter began when I was about three. It doesn't help when your own mother dresses you up as Vyvyan from The Young Ones. I watched comedy that was incredibly inappropriate for my age (and I'm happy to say I "got" almost all of it, sexual references aside), and I've grown up with humour around me. I attend a frightening number of TV and radio comedy recordings and enjoy every moment. This does not mean, however, that this blog is in any way funny - irony has made this comedy obsessive completely unfunny herself. Any humour is therefore completely coincidental and doubtless at my own expense.
• I am pansexual. Oh, Jesus, that's a wanky word. In layman's terms, it means "a bit more than bisexual", so if I ever comment that I find a lady or a transperson attractive, don't be surprised, is the point of this. Hey - if someone's attractive to me in whatever way, I'm not being fussy. It's my attractiveness (or lack of) to others that poses the problems!
• I am an obsessive. I know I've already covered comedy, but that needed a separate point. What I mean is, I have odd little obsessions that you may find a bit strange. These include, but are not limited to: the London Underground (particularly the evolution of its map); television continuity, idents and presentation (particularly from before I was born); crafting (I sew, knit, crochet, tailor and make jewellery, and when I get engrossed in a project you can't stop me); cosmetics (if I could be a make-up artist I would, but everyone would look like freaks); and, increasingly of late, football (West Ham forever - I have my reasons). This probably proves I'm Asperger's, if nothing else!
• I am part-German. I take my family history quite seriously and am liable to get pissed off whenever someone immediately associates Germany with Nazism - talk about lazy stereotyping! I'm proud of my family, and will likely bend your ear off about my family history if asked. (Most of the rest of my family have London backgrounds, though, so it gets a bit dull...)
• I have the best friend in the world. You may think you do, but I actually do, so, er, yeah.
• I'm not actually horrible. I know what I've written probably makes me sound like a bloody horrible person, but I tend to use sarcasm and flippancy as a mask for the fact that underneath, I'm desperately trying to please other people the entire time. I'm trying to seek approval less and less as I get older, but I basically want to be a good, helpful person who isn't a writhing mess of social ineptitude. This is why I'm more coherent in writing - and the sarcasm tends to give the wrong impression. Thus, the circle continues. MNARGH!