Last night, on my journey back from yet another comedy event, I had the good fortune to run into this delightful man at Piccadilly Circus tube station:
(Forgive the unusual angle of the photo - I'm more Old Bailey than David Bailey)
Why should I share this fact with the world? Well, mainly because he is the most audacious, intelligent and refreshing individual I have ever met in my life. Upon the arrival of a Piccadilly Line train last night and its doors opening, he elbowed me out of the way in order to run onto the train and practically throw himself into the disability priority seat. When picked up on this action by m'colleague (I am genuinely too awkward to say anything in these situations), he simply looked at her as if she'd asked him to explain the basic principles of quantum physics in classical Greek. He then became engrossed with his phone, not putting it down for the entire journey, and spread out his legs so far that he may as well have been going for gold in the International Bollock Displayal Championships. Luckily, there were other seats available*, so we simply mimcked his stance, pulling out our phones and pretending to stare at them for twenty minutes. Not a flicker crossed this staunch, stolid gentleman's face, so resolute was he to ignore the rest of the world in the relentless pursuit of himself. I was in awe of his steely determination, his maverick genius, his utter failure to register when people were tripping over his feet.
He got off at the same stop as we did. Sadly, he alighted through a different door, so I was unable to give him a swift blow across the legs with my cane. I imagine I only would have got that quantum physics look had I done so.
*This story may seem like sour grapes in light of this fact, but as a great man (well, Rik from the Young Ones) once said, it's the principle of the thing, really. So, my well-considered response is "yah boo sucks".
Quite frankly, I should have bowed down to his greatness. Or to head-butt his nads, one of the two :)
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